December 22, 2010

Thank you for smoking !!

No Smoking, alcohol prohibition, all such words were crap for me before one year. I was one of those who use to say: "Smoking is the sign of a man", "stud always smokes", “Smoking relieves stress”, “Management or software people are identified with habit of smoking”.

Not only smoking, I would have mentioned about many such quotes about alcohol and other addiction I have taken proud of in the past. But that was not as frequent as smoking. so i wont mention them. But consider smoking as stereotype for all type of addictions for time being.

You might be wondering why today somehow out of blue, I write on addiction. Believe me this is not all of sudden. It is truly said that you can’t escape from your past. I gave up smoking before a year and now hope not to go on that path again. This purification has not come from any excellent speech of a preacher but due to many incidents in my life. I never wanted to share those incidents as people who were involved are close to me. But I decided to write with a hope that they would understand sooner or later and may learn from those incidents.

The first time I felt pity on myself due to smoking was a friends-meet at KITLI before almost a year. I used to roam around in night like a nocturnal scavenger. Most of the highway KITLI owners knew me by my face as I frequently visited them to have tea and smoke at different KITLI. One of my friend, Jigs, one night, called me to join him for tea at 11 pm at regular KITLI place. When I reached there and saw that he was with his kids. I never met them before. Both were innocent and sweet. I decided to not to smoke in front of them; just ordered tea for me and my friend. I took my seat after having few funny words with kids. Their presence made me smile but it vanished in a little while.

The moment tea had been served; Jigs took a cigarette out from his cigar box and lit up. My eyes went wider. His act was really deplorable.

“Take it easy Jay!! They know that I smoke.” Jigs offered me a puff

“Whatever!! you carry on I won’t have it” I refused.

He continued laughing at me and I did not mind it. But what made me uncomfortable was his next puff which reached his daughter’s face. She coughed a little bit.

“You can go and wait in car if you don’t bare it.” Jigs asked her daughter.

But she was helpless as she afraid of sitting alone in car. I was lost in observing reactions of both Jigs and his daughter. She continuously starred at me. She did not have tears in her eye but I could see her crying and begging for help. I was totally numb. I could not speak or do anything for her. First time, in my entire life, someone made feel ashamed. I left the place after finishing my tea but I could not forget the way she stared at me, not even today. Whenever I see Jigs smoking, I feel like slapping him hard. I see only those helpless eyes of his daughter and pray god to make him see the consequences of his actions.

Even if I take my own case, my father is a very strict person. He always discourages such action by any person. He can’t tolerate that he advices everyone and his son does not follow him. Because of my addiction, I had to lie to my parents. Moreover I never preferred to go out with my father to tea stall or to nearby pan parlor to buy anything as I afraid whether someone will offer me a smoke and I would be caught.

I have seen distance being created between family members. One of my friends could not control on alcohol. Whenever he gets over drunk, he beats his wife and kids. Usual na ? being neighbour or friends, we had seen such things atleast once in our life. But what do we do? Keep quit, gossip around, and follow the same path in future. You may want to argue that you are not like him. I do appreciate.

Whenever I see any protests against such addiction, I somewhere down in my heart know what are its consequences. I never understand what makes us so brutal and wild.

It is not only you who pay for your mistakes but also your family and well wishers. Life does not give everyone an opportunity to change.