May 27, 2010

Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk

From last couple of months, I could not write anything. I really did not get what to write and how to start with. But fortunately or unfortunately I came across an incident which made me write this article.
Recently my brother met with an accident and broke his shoulder. He had to be operated as the two cracked parts of bone was not in touch. Doctor put two wires inside to support the contact of those two parts. The matter was little serious as he was operated otherwise the operation or the injury was easily curable.

It was my responsibility to inform everyone about his accident. But this role made me remember some pained points of mine which I faced when I was injured badly. When I was injured, the difficult task was to listen to elders and those talented people surrounding me who never met with an accident or saved from major injuries.

"How careless you are !!"
"Can't you just drive slow?"
"Can't you see the vehicle crossing your way?"
"How irresponsible you are"
This type of remarks were really a demotivating factor especially for the person who is just saved from a fatal accident. Rather expressing sympathy or sending condolence, how can you just shout on the patient? While doing that, are you acting responsibly? What a person should be speaking at that time, in my view,
"It is okay dear, take care"
"it happens, dont worry, everything gonna be alright"
And if you can't speak these words, I suggest you to keep your mouth SHUT. I understand the frustration of elders. They are also sad and worried about whatever has happened. But these things can be communicated later on. But NO. they start showing the rights of being elder or being in a good position.
The person who spoke such words for my brother, smokes and is an alcoholic. When that person drinks and drives, does he act responsibly? He is amongst those people who are responsible for his current situation. The victim is not always in fault.
I don't deny that the victim should not be scolded. He should be advised or scolded by elders at right time. Sometimes, such a major incident in life changes the person entirely. Give some time and hope for the changes.
Once milk is spilt, the first thing you would do is to clean the floor. You just can't sit crying over spilt milk