Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk

From last couple of months, I could not write anything. I really did not get what to write and how to start with. But fortunately or unfortunately I came across an incident which made me write this article.

Recently my brother met with an accident and broke his shoulder. He had to be operated as the two cracked parts of bone was not in touch. Doctor put two wires inside to support the contact of those two parts. The matter was little serious as he was operated otherwise the operation or the injury was easily curable.

It was my responsibility to inform everyone about his accident. But this role made me remember some pained points of mine which I faced when I was injured badly. When I was injured, the difficult task was to listen to elders and those talented people surrounding me who never met with an accident or saved from major injuries.

"How careless you are !!"

"Can't you just drive slow?"

"Can't you see the vehicle crossing your way?"

"How irresponsible you are"

This type of remarks were really a demotivating factor especially for the person who is just saved from a fatal accident. Rather expressing sympathy or sending condolence, how can you just shout on the patient? While doing that, are you acting responsibly? What a person should be speaking at that time, in my view,

"It is okay dear, take care"

"it happens, dont worry, everything gonna be alright"

And if you can't speak these words, I suggest you to keep your mouth SHUT. I understand the frustration of elders. They are also sad and worried about whatever has happened. But these things can be communicated later on. But NO. they start showing the rights of being elder or being in a good position.

The person who spoke such words for my brother, smokes and is an alcoholic. When that person drinks and drives, does he act responsibly? He is amongst those people who are responsible for his current situation. The victim is not always in fault.

I don't deny that the victim should not be scolded. He should be advised or scolded by elders at right time. Sometimes, such a major incident in life changes the person entirely. Give some time and hope for the changes.

Once milk is spilt, the first thing you would do is to clean the floor. You just can't sit crying over spilt milk

I am not a sycophant !!

It has been long I wrote on my blog. Life is full of uncertainty. My dears and nears will be knowing what has happened but I will write about it. Meanwhile I collect all excuses, I would like to share the weird of conversations I had in my life.

By profession, I am a software developer but please don’t mind if I tell you that I found very behavioral problems with IT professionals. Some points made me to write about it. I don’t have any personal problem with any of IT professionals. Please don’t take it personally (I am not worried about it till comments are moderated ;) )

Before few days, I went to meet Amit, one of my friends in my previous organization. As usual, I called him to come downstairs to our favorite “Kittli”. When we were having our tea, Hiren, one of his colleagues, joined us. Now when software developers from different organizations meet, they start pulling legs of current employers. We followed the same tradition. But I did not know what made Hiren so sad, he started crying about working conditions at EC tech, my previous and his current organization.

“How would you retain your employees when you don’t provide good training, food, facility, bus service, The tea provided is pathetic, the elevator is sub-normal. People have to learn on their own and there is not enough documentation on previous work.” Said Hiren.

I and Amit were surprised but agreed to his point. But he did not stop there.

Continuing his philosophy, he added “It took 8 months for me to get a better chair that doesn’t give me a backache. When you work for more than 10 hours and are working after 9 you should be provided free food, free transportation. I remember in my last project I used to work till 11 and nobody cared for my dinner or any snacks. According to medical science one should not remain without eating for more than 5 hours.”

I looked at Amit to make him stop but Amit wanted to listen more, may be Amit was impressed by Hiren’s medical science knowledge.

“Lights would blow off in office and people would have a few hours off. How can you imagine something like that in Software Company? For a company going truly on world scale to find a market, with a classy product it should also provide the same kind of infrastructure, support and work environment to its employees, then only employees will remain in the company.” Hiren was really worried about productivity and market position in global market.

“Employees should be given technical as well as soft skill training, English speaking training to go global. There should be at least one gym or a kind of Exercise/rest room.
When you expect best from the employees, you should have the best incentives and facilities to support. What do you say?” Hiren looked at me and this time my mind was really blown. I wanted to punch him hardly.

I could not keep myself mum as I appreciated the way his organization had grown to city’s largest IT firm. I looked at Amit in a manner that I was asking him for his permission. Amit smiled and nodded giving me my freedom of speech.

“I agree with most of all comments. I am not admirer of EC Tech. I hated notice period, commitment period, HR and higher management team, annoyed with few problems of lift. But when you say that you were not provided with a good chair till 8 months, I ask you why you didn’t collect a new chair from conference room or from some other place on your own. But you need a servant for that? Have u gave mailed this complain to your HR? Did anyone stop you eating at any time or place? Why do you be hungry for more than 5 hrs? Do you need HR come to u and serve the plate?” I shouted like anything

“In case of electricity cut, thousands of factories remain shut, why don’t we fear of few hours off. If you really care of wastage of time, don’t waste it when u have electricity dude.”

Amit was so amazed with my comments. He was waiting for his turn to speak. Finally he broke his silence and added “Have you visited gym even a single time when you actually needed it, you do you ask today? Forget about whether company provides you gym facility or not. Do you have care of any kind of exercise like walking, running, cycling? I don’t think you need a gym for that.”

I recalled that Amit does yoga everyday and he does not need gym. Hiren also realized that after having seen Amit’s symmetrical body.

Jay, The Studious Boy, did not comment on Study!! That was a question on my rapport. So I added “We have not studied when we used to pay high fees in college. We did not make our global personality and spent about total learning age in waste. Don’t expect that we will learn by few hour classes now.”

Finally, we ended our arguments with Hiren calling us sycophants. I won’t lie that we did enjoy talking with Hiren but somehow I was not feeling good knowing about such attitude especially for organization I admire. May be Hiren is right at his perception, but battle is not about who’s right.
It is not the infrastructure or facilities which make an employee happy or satisfied; it is our attitude, respect to our work and our honor which really matters. Don’t live in dreams, be realistic.

Act of Genuine Humility

“Hey Jay! Madam warned us if we are late, she would not mark our attendance. We spent entire break. Hurry up man.” Kuntesh yelled at me and suddenly I remembered madam’s strict warning. We had “Written Analysis and Communication (WAC)” lecture consisting of two sessions and in between we had a break of 15 min. Due to general practice of coming late in class, Madam warned us in last lecture. I threw tea-cup in dustbin and ran towards class.


As usual, I was late to return. But while taking my seat, I saw many other students entering class late. I looked at madam’s angry face; she was about to tell us off. Suddenly I heard knock at door; Ashish too came late. The moment he reached at his place and noticed that roll call was already taken.

He shouted “Madam, roll number 10”. “I announced in last lecture if anybody comes after roll call, I would not mark his/her presence.” Madam replied.

“Then what is the meaning of sitting in the class?” Ashish yelled.

“It is your choice Ashish. If you feel we are not doing anything worth in class, you can leave.”

“But madam, you can not be rigid not to take attendance even if a student remains present.”

“I made myself very clear. This rule not only applies to you, there are many who came late. None of them will be marked present.”

“If it is so, I do not want to attend the class. Whatever you are doing is just a waste of time. Your teaching style is not good and we do not gain anything from your lectures.” Ashish

Ashish put his bag on shoulder, stood up and started walking outside the class. He angrily added “I am not saying for my sake only but I m doing on behalf of class.” He looked at other students and said “Why are sitting like dump? We should all boycott this subject.”

“Ashish! You better leave the class. This is your personal matter and don’t pull entire class in.” Anirudhdh confronted him pointing finger at him.

“Who the hell are you? You keep your mouth shut if you don’t want to support us. And how dare you point finger at me!” Ashish eyes went reddish. I was shocked watching this quarrel.

“Ashish! It would be better if you leave the class right now. If you have a complaint, you can talk to management. Shouting in class is not the way; you should show respect to faculty.” Anirudhdh said

“Would be please let me manage this matter Annirudhdh?” madam stopped Anirudhdh and turned his face to Ashish with calm “See Ashish! I try my best to provide maximum value addition. If there is some problem with my teaching style, we can talk about this. But current issue is not about that. I asked you all to maintain some decorum and some of you failed. Hence there will be the punishment we agreed upon last time. I would not change my decision at all. You can leave the class if you want.”

I was really surprised looking at madam’s humility. Ashish sat quietly.

After lecture completed, I and few late comers went to madam. We asked for apology for not maintaining the decorum and also for Ashish’s misbehavior. Madam marked our attendance. Thought Ashish misbehaved, madam asked us for his roll number and marked his presence.

Tejas (who works in the same college in admin department and also studies with us) informed madam about Ashish’s misbehavior with other faculty members. Tejas asked to complain about him. And then what madam replied which I never forget:

“He is not a bad guy. He is dissatisfied with something. As a professor it is my duty to know why he is so upset. Complaining is not the solution. When you find someone unhappy with you, you have two options: ignore him or talk with him about the actual cause. I am delighted that his dissatisfaction came out today otherwise I would never know about that. Perhaps there is some problem with my teaching style; his dissatisfaction will help me find what I lack. Don’t bother about it, I will manage.”

I put myself at her place and thought what I might have done in such situation. Maybe, I have expelled him or thrown out of my class. I can’t be so generous. I looked at my past; I reacted at many places with aggression. I assure you any aggressive person present on this event, must have realized what harm anger causes and how powerful humility is.

In the Interim

Hi Friends!! First of all, I would like to apologize not to be in touch for a long duration. I am really sorry for that.

During this interim, I got everything that I always dreamed. I feel myself lucky as God has blessed me everything I wished and that also on right time. “Thank you God!! I honor you with my due respect and love you.” But today I feel it is good not to have all dreams coming true in life.

After having everything, something was pricking me. I have almost given away writing on blog. My mind remained so occupied during these days that I had been finding no words to speak or to write. I remember I told sandy, who inspired me to start a blog, that I would write something inspiring and about those things which help one to live a better life. Till I remain troubled with endogenous anxiety, I can not write something inspiring.

Now I am okay and regained my confidence and jolliness (Actually i wrote this word as someone told me that I was jolly. I hope he had not been flattering me). So I think now I can bore you by writing more posts ;)

By the way I would like to thank many readers whose comments on “A Salute to Woman” helped me to come back and continue writing, especially Jigna, Pranav, Kuntesh and Bhabhi. Thank you all.

The Achievers

Today I had organizational behavior class in college. Madam was to teach about team work. Generally madam gives an exercise to class and on that exercise, she explains particular topic.

Today she did the same. The entire class was divided into teams of 10 people. The exercise was common to all teams. First task was "Scavenger-Hunt". Each team had to first search for 12 objects in campus itself. Madam had already given check-list of all objects. They were Matchbox, Photos of each member, Book of Quotation, a stationary having University logo, A picture of any car, Cloth Duster, A string, a briefcase, a calculator, a CD, a bubble gum, previous year calendar.

Second task was "New Product Launch" where each team was required to select a product, give a name, create a logo, create a tag line, and prepare strategies to launch. A transparency was given to each team and we needed to make presentation of the product launch on it. Each team was allocated 30 minutes time to complete both the task. Whichever team completes Scavenger-Hunt first, had to present the product launch first.

I was the part of team formed on left wing of classroom. We were 10 members in the beginning. But two members joined as they were late in class. We initially started with gathering all objects which were with us in the classroom. We almost collected CD, calculator, string, photos, calendar on first go. Two team members rushed to library and collected Book of quotation, a magazine having advertisement of a car, and pamphlet having University logo. They collected a matchbox from security boy while returning. Other two members went to canteen to buy a bubble gum and they bought a cloth duster that generally boys keep in vehicles. We collected 11 items in approximately 10-15 minutes. The problem was briefcase. The most senior member of our team went outside the class and did some magic tricks (as it is confidential how he did it) and brought the briefcase. We completed our first part and showed all objects to madam within 20 minutes. Our team was the first to complete this task hence we were in advantage.

Around six members of team had engaged themselves in searching all those objects. The rest including me had already started second task. We decided submersible pumps as our product. We used “Jaldhara” as product name. Two of these six members started preparing logo accordingly and others started making strategies. Tag line, we preferred “Bina Barasaat, Pani Hi Pani’ (Hindi). We made two advertisement lines for it:

“Jab Unchai Pe Pahochana Ho Pani, Aur Bijli Bhi Ho Bachani,
Jaldhara Pumps Hi Hai Sab Ki zubani”

and

“Pump Se Hogi Kheto Ki Samrudhdhi, Kheto Se Hogi Desh Ki Samrudhdhi”

When we jotted down enough strategies, around 3 minutes were left. We were all happy with our efforts and entire team went for presentation. Presentation was also superb as we had good orators in our team. When a team presented their work, other teams needed to rate product launch with four criteria: Product name, Logo, Tag line and strategies.

We did one mistake in entire exercise. Madam gave us a red marker to write on transparency. We wrote and draw using that marker only rather than asking other team to share markers of different color. Hence our logo did not appear that much impressive.

But lady luck was with us and we received highest rating in product launch. Moreover we completed the task before other teams; our team was announced as Winner.

“The Achievers proved their name."

The learning from this was how mutually team members coordinated without any leader or supervisor and every member was accountable for both of the activities. That is the main difference between a group and team…